LXX – That’s enough

Typing this with a glass of wine at my side and looking for my bed. It’s been a Hell of a week.

Monday morning saw me groggy: I didn’t sleep until a bit after midday, and then woke at 3:55am. I got back to sleep courtesy of Calm’s “gently back to sleep” meditation. In the end I slept for about 6.5 hours. Troublingly, I’m seeing my experience repeat itself. Just like in 2011, I’m treasuring and longing for sleep and feeling like it’s the best part of the day.

Monday’s rubbish miles

Tuesday saw me horribly tired on the tram to work. I took my running gear with me with a sense of futility. Work is so busy my chances of running home were poor in the extreme, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Wednesday followed suit with me leaving the office at 11:30pm and getting the tram home.

Thursday morning saw me groggy again. It’d been a good week for broken sleep. I woke up at 5:30am after a dream about being attacked in bed by people I used to know. I think I woke up shouting “who are you?” and “go away”. I wonder what my housemates made of it! It’s been a great week for broken sleep.

Thursday night saw me leaving the office at 11pm. Urgh this is not sustainable!! There were too many trips to the office biscuit tin today. What a time not to be able to run!

I’m not gonna lie: after a few days of eating crap and not exercising I really do feel rubbish!

Friday morning saw me wake at 7:25 … and wake again at 7:55. I noticed one thing in particular at lunch and that’s how little hungry I actually am. Friday is usually my day to have breakfast of a cheese and Vegemite scroll from 7/11, and a roll from Kenny’s for lunch: I don’t usually eat take away lunches during the week. But today I couldn’t face more breakfast than coffee, and a Vietnamese pork roll from Kenny’s for lunch left me feeling pretty sick. I can only put it down to stress from work.

I’ve never been happier to see 10pm on Friday roll around when I could clock off and walk home up Sydney Road. I’ve never more looked forward to a weekend of running and meditating and reading. There’s never been a better time to recharge!

Part LIII – Tuesday on the Rocks

Last Tuesday was the day before a big case. I’ll spare you the details but it’s enough to say I was very worried and stressed. Having missed my dose of Pristiq didn’t exactly help either.

How rubbish is it when I don’t run or walk? This rubbish

I left the office at 11:20pm, so running home clearly wasn’t an option. I got the tram. Dinner was a sausage roll and some sandwiches from 7/11 at midnight.

How rubbish is my mileage when I don’t run or walk home? This rubbish.

Of course, after a day like this did I shower, take my tablet and get to bed? No. Did I drink, watch Hitler Rants Parodies and then listen to The Sixteen sing Allegri’s Miserere Mei Deus? Yes.

I crashed into bed feeling like I was sliding right back to a dark place I thought I’d left behind.